The Agonizing Broken Warrior

The Agonizing Reincarnation of Broken Warrior

Agonizing Reincarnation

And suddenly, I woke up, I guess, after million years, even though I wanted to, I was not able to open my eyes. It felt like they were sewed shut, I felt pain when I tried opening them but eventually, I did, it felt like molten lava struck my eyes. I was not able to see anything around, just bright, piercing light. It was hot, it was painful, I wanted to close my eyes but at the same time was anxious to know, where the hell I was. Strange beeps in my ears, coming from nowhere

Very slowly, the pain started going away, and my surroundings started getting clearer. I was sitting on the pile of red sand, actually, half-buried. Never-ending desert all around me. Only one Joshua tree in the middle and a raven staring at my eyes, it seemed hungry. I tried to look away, but I don’t know why, I felt a bit reluctant, I felt I knew it somehow, or we had the same deranged fate

I felt very tired and weak but tried standing up. My bones screamed like hell, my back crackled but I managed to stand straight. I looked around me, endless desert, a Joshua tree, and my hungry friend

Suddenly, I felt a strange kind of emptiness in my stomach, and my throat was like a burning fire

Maybe I haven’t eaten or drank anything for years

I looked towards the south, I felt that I may find something there, well it was just a wild guess, but what else I could do.

I took the first step and my body ached like a fired bullet shell. The raven flapped its wings, a bit of disappointment in its eyes.

I started walking, slowly towards the south, I looked at my shoes, all dusty, and as I walked, dust was falling around from my clothes and shoes

I walked and walked, a rattling sound struck my ears, but just moved away, a rattlesnake, maybe it was not expecting any other presence. I was powerless, drained, and broken, I was nowhere, I remembered nothing, nothing from the past, why I was there, where I had to go, what was the purpose of me? But still, the will to live was a bit strange

But I was battling with the sun, so I had to give up, and fell face down on the sand

I don’t know how long I stayed that way until I felt sand in my mouth and a bit cold. I could hear the same freaking beeps in my ears but was not sure what was it. It was dark all around, seemed like the raven took over everything

The Joshua Tree

I was starving, I could’ve eaten anything at that time, my throat was killing me, I stood up again while my body ached as if I was struck by lightning

I felt something in my pocket, I took it out, it was white paper soaked in water and sand all over, but I could see what was on it

it was a drawing, a sketch made by, I guess, a small child. In the sketch, there was a woman, a man, and a small boy standing beside them

And at the bottom of the paper in childish writing, there was a sentence that struck me, Me, My Mom, and My Dad!

I was stunned, am I the dad? do I have a son? do I have a family? why don’t I remember anything? What I am doing here? what is this place? My mind started collapsing, I could not remember anything, but somehow something inside me kept me moving

Suddenly I felt a throbbing pain in my chest, an unsettling pain, I was going breathless, I tore open my shirt, maybe it would help me breathe, but no!

I fell down to the ground again, from far, I could hear the beeps again, a sad but bone-chilling voice of a woman crying, I tried to look around but that throbbing pain

Then suddenly, everything calmed down, my pain, the crying woman, the beeps…

I was still on the ground, I turned around with my face towards the sky, what an emptiness, never have I seen such desolation. I could see the black sky above me, but no stars, moon, or clouds, not even a hint. Was, it a black sky or the eternal dark abyss, upside down? was I in it or it was in me?

As I was aching in pain and staring out at the abyss, thousands of nasty insects started crawling on my body, I thought of jumping and throwing them off me, then I thought that maybe they were as devastated and desperate as me. Maybe my purpose was to satisfy their hunger and greed.

At least I had a purpose now, I felt a bit satisfied. But……. the Raven…It needed me too

I just closed my eyes, just tried to be numb from everything around me, and I succeeded, I felt like falling into my inner depths

On my way down, I heard some cries, and some laughter, I saw a few images, of faceless people trying to drag me in or push me out

They were talking to me in a mumbling voice, but I was not able to understand anything

And the beeps got louder, somebody or something pushing my chest down, I was losing my breath. Who was that? why he or she was trying to kill me? or agonize me

Like a flash of light, I woke up, my eyes now open, I could still hear the beeps but they were a bit calm. A man with a mask was bent over me, I could not see anything clearly but faded images, and then the man with the mask left the room

There I saw a young boy with a red shirt smiling at me and a woman standing behind him, she was also smiling but with tears in her eyes. Now I could see a bit clearer

It was a bit painful that I was not able to remember those people, maybe that was because of the agonizing experience I had. But, it felt like home

I looked out the window, and on a tree nearby, I saw the same deranged RAVEN looking at me, waiting for me on the other side of the abyss


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